The Love That Never Was
by Katey chan
Summary: Sasuke meets Naruto on the street and immediately falls for the boy and everything seems too good to be true...or is it. SasuNaru. Oneshot. Crack fic.
1. Chapter 1

"Baby I was born this way!" Naruto exclaimed walking down the street, shakin his hips and moving to the song seductively not really caring who saw but little did he know a certain Uchiha was watching…and masturbating.

Stranger in the corner aka saukequerr watching thinking to himself who is that sexy beast dancing like a crazy fool making his way across the room to get closer to this blonde babe he gets in close putting his hand on narutos hips and starts dancing with him "hey"

Naruto gasped not know what was happening felt the strange mans erection on his backside and turned to see it was super sexy man who had a duck butt hairstyle, "Wassup! My names Naruto and I was born 12 years ago with a demon fox in me. Everyone abuses me and rapes me but that's fine." he grinned and grinded his ass against the strange hottie, "You're giving me such a wettie."

Sasuke gives a evil but sexy grin, "I didn't need to know your life story but whateves your sexy so you can get away with it. I'm Sasuke I have a dark past and a strong hate for my brother who treats me like shit but its cool I have angry sex with random hot strangers and it makes me feel better. and I know you can feel how hard you make me."

"Didn't fucking ask for your life story bro but whatever." Naruto said pouting. He turned so that he was facing Sasuke and he licked his lips, "Why don't we just go somewhere more private and have hot sweaty man sex like theres no tomorrow or we can just fuck here I don't really give a damn." Naruto said wraping his arms around Sasuke.

Looks deep into Narutos eyes "Well I have been knocking on your backdoor this whole time, so your place or mine? But hurry up and make up your mind cause I need some sex stat." slaps narutos ass.

Naruto smiled up at him lovingly then grabbed Sasuke's hand, "Lets go to my house!" he led Sasuke down the street and into an alley to where a raggedy cardboard box was and turned to Sasuke, "Well this is my pad whatcha think." Naruto opened it up to reveal a very nice red couch with a big screen tv and a nice coffee table. All in all it had a very contemporary feel, very classy for a cardboard box. Naruto opened one flap to show his bedroom that had a kind size bed, "Shall we?" he asked Sasuke.

"Your place is amazaaaaaa." Sasuke looks at Naruto and then then the bed and then at Naruto again. he picks up Naruto and throws him on to the bed and start roughly making out with him.

"Dwah! Sasuke hold on…" Naruto started crying. Sasuke was terrifying him. He only knew him for about 5 minutes now but this wasn't the Sasuke he knew and loved. Where was his Sasuke! "S-Sasuke…Im a virgin…" Naruto said bashfully.

Sasuke looks at Naruto in confussion "sigh you brought me here for one reason and that reason alone…to fuck. And it will happen. But if you need a breather to get over your pms then fine." Sasuke lays back on to the bed and made himself comfy." Come on babe cuddle with me like we are a couple a faggots and then when you are ready ima rock your world."

Naruto smiled sweetly at Sasuke, "Thanks Sasuke-chan-sama-san-kun-sempai…kun." He leaned against Sasuke and started sucking on his nipples to get some of Sasuke's breast milk then pulled back and pushed Sasuke down and crawled on top of him, "I'm about to rock you…like a hurricane."

"Damn straight." Sasuke takes the top of course and starting making out with Naruto. "Now when you are ready and be ready this time tell me and I will make you scream my name in notes that only dogs will hear."

"The fuck is wrong with you!" Naruto squeeled like a little girl while they were making out. He spread his legs and wrapped his legs around Sasuke, "Take me now Sasuke! Take me fucking now shit cock ass cream pie fuck!" he screamed out loud even though Sasuke wasn't even doing anything to him.

"um didn't mean to tease ya but shouldn't you suck my 9inch cock first before I stick it in you bubble booty." Sasuke unbuttons his pants as angels sing in the glory and the might of his cock "Now come on down here babe."

"hai." Naruto answered then got down on his hands and knees like a good little whore and sucked off Sasuke's 9inch 6 round cock until he came all over Naruto's face. Naruto looked at himself in the mirror was like "Omigawd! I got white stuff on my face!" he exclaimed then turned back to Sasuke, "Please be gentle Sasuke…I…I love you more than anything!" he started crying, "I don't know what Id do without you Sasuke, I cant breathe, I cant sleep I cant do anything! Please don't leave me again!" he clung onto Sasuke as he cried.

"Are we or have we ever been in a damn relationship before because I do date a lot and forget the faces of bitches I leave on the street corners but when they are covered in my white thunder they all look the same. Even though you do look cute covered in my white stuff." Sasuke looks and Naruto whiles putting his hand upon his creamcumcovered face and go in for the kiss before the fuck ."Now bend over so we can get this party started."

"AH!" Naruto exclaimed, "The party has started!" he screamed when Sasuke's 9inch 6 round cock entered his puckered anus, "Sasuke I love you so much! Love me! LOVE ME!" he cried, "Do you love me Sasuke? UGH UH AH HAH" *those were his sex noises, "WE're doing the nasty Sasuke!"

Sasuke reaches and pulls narutos hair and whispers into narutos ear "I love the way you moan but stop your fucking talking." Sasuke kisses Naruto and then lets go of his dirty blonde hair and focuses on thrusting in and out Naruto as roughly as possible smacking his little ass "ahhh ahh ugh." Sasuke moan loudly.

"Sorry Sasuke! Please forgive me! PLEASE!" Naruto cried while rocking his hips. He finally came all over his bed and he felt Sasuke come right after, "Sasuke…please don't leave me after this. I don't wanna be just another fuck to you!" he started crying again, "I'm so in love with you I cant even stand it!"

"You are a good fuck we should get together again but love is such a strong word to use on someone you just met but if you go into the kitchen and made me some after sex snacks I wont leave just yet." Sasuke says while lookin at Naruto "btw you really should take something for that bad pms you got there."

"What the fack are you talking about Sasuke! What pms! Are you saying Im crazy! Im not fucking crazy! We're going to be together forever forever together!" he screamed then got up and shook his ass for Sasuke to see then jumped into the kitchen, "Squadala!" he exclaimed then started crunching ramen since that was the only thing he knew how to cook but about 3 minutes in he realized he never poured water in the noodles. He grabbed the burnt noodles from the microwave then walked over to Sasuke and handed him the burnt noodles, "There ya go!" he grinned

Sasuke looks at the burnt ramen and then looks at Naruto "what the fuck I can't eat this shit and how in the hell do you screw up ramen not even real ramen microwave ramen I don't know if you are truly a retard or if your just a smart ass bitch…but le sigh if this really is the best you can do you wanna go and get something real to eat I mean I don't want to be rude or anything."

Naruto stared at Sasuke then burst into tears, "Sasuke how could you!" he cried then ran to his master bathroom and slammed the door shut. HE stripped down so he was naked and walked into the shower nad stood under the water and closed his eyes looking so serene right now. He couldn't believe Sasuke hurt him like that. After everything they've been though…maybe Sasuke didn't love him. No that couldn't be. Sasuke loved him long time. He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down.

Sasuke thinks to himself if I leave now I can get away from this crazy bitch its not like he would find me or anything like how insane can one person but then if I do leave now and he does find me he might kill me who knows what this freak is able to do. But then why the fuck would I stay. Sasuke gets up and starts walking to the open flaps but then he hears the sounds of Naruto crying he does sound sexy crying "sigh" Sasuke walks to the bathroom door and knocks on it "Narubabe come on either come out to dinner with me or let me in to help you shower."

"S-Sasuke?" Naruto stuttered as he stood in the shower and wiped his tears only have to water splash on his face so he was having a hard time wiping the tears away. He stepped out of the shower and opened the door to see Sasuke, "Sasuke I forgive you." He said smiling, "Let's go!" he grinned.

"I didn't say sorry but okay get your sexy ass dressed and you better look nice for me I can't be seen with a whore ;D." Says Sasuke.

Naruto huffed, "Fuck you you insensitive bastard!" he yelled then pushed past Sasuke and went to his really large dresser and pulled out some clothes and put them on. It was a short pink dress that had the word Whore writtin all over it. He put on some hooker heels on then turned to face Sasuke, "Okay Im ready!" he blushed like a virgin, "This doesn't make me look slutty?"

Sasuke stares at Naruto up and down "you look like you just got off your shift at the strip clubs and about to work the streets I bet it you bend over I could see your ass but its okay i'll take you somewhere low class so people wont stare cause I'm that kind of nice guy." Sasuke grins and turns and starting walking for the open flap "come on babe."

"Hai!" Naruto smiled as he skipped merily after Sasuke, "Sasuke…do you think Im pretty when I don't have makeup on? Do you think Im funny when I tell the punchline wrong?" he asked swaying his hips, "Sasuke do you think Im a whore? Do you care about me at all? Do you ever think about what our life would be like if we were married? Do you believe in a thing called love?"

Sasuke thinks to himself im regretting this shit. "Naruto do you have brain damage cause we haven't know each other for that long and love isn't something that can't happen over night I mean I know im a dream and a true gentleman but babe if you don't slowly start the fire then it will never start but then you most likely haven't heard a word I said and just heard what you wanted to hear but its my curse to be too good to be true and have people fall for me all the time."

Naruto stared at Sasuke in shock, "The fuck is wrong with you? And you call me crazy…" he pursed his lips, "Sasuke Im not really crazy. Im just fuckin wit ya, nawmean!" he grinned then wrapped his arms around Naruto, "We all know Im the best fuck you've ever had so stick that in your cranberry juice." He winked.

Sasuke stares at Naruto then keeps walking "so where do you want to go eat? And don't take forever thinking about it."

"Oh hell naw! You did not just fuckin ignore me. Get back here you twat!" Naruto yelled angrily then stomped up to Sasuke and grabbed him, "You don't fuckin walk away from me until Im fucking done talking you asshole! You could've at least answered me! I gave you my virginity for fucks sake!" he screamed, "And for your god damn information I want to eat at Country Cookin!"

"Country Cookin is the perfect place to take a young lady like yourself haha, and its cheap like you wiiink." Sasuke says while walking around the corner "I'm pretty sure its not that far so come on."

Naruto's face turned blood red, "You mother fuckin fucker asshole mother fucking bitch!" Naruto yelled then ran past Sasuke to Country Cookin. He stopped at the entrance and turned to wave at Sasuke, waving happily, "Sasuke! Come on we have to get a good seat!" he took Sasuke's hand and walked in with him and sat down at the booth by the ice cream machine, "Thank you Sasuke for taking me here. No ones really taken me anywhere before…don't know why."

"Really? you have no idea why huh well isn't that just something." Sasuke say while lookin around. "Our waitress better get here soon cause I'm hungry like the wolf."

'Wtf Sasuke is such an asshole!' Naruto thought then turned when some pink haired bimbo walked up to the table. "Konichiwa! Arata Haruno Sakura!" she greeted. Naruto stared at her like she was stupid, "Bitch we in America. Sprekin ze dick!" he exclaimed. Sakura frowned, "Gomenasai! Sasuke-kun ski dayo!" she squeeled like a fangirl then turned and ran away. Naruto turned to Sasuke angrily ,"What the EFF Sasuke! Are you cheatin on me with her! She said she loved you!" he started crying, "How could you do this to me…to us."

Sasuke looks at the waitress oh no that girl. "No Naruto I haven't giving that fuzzbag the time of day even though she won't leave me alone no matter how bad I beat or treat her." Sasuke thinks for a second "That bitch didn't take our order if she thinks she is getting a fuckin tip she must be high cause the only tip she will get is my fist in her fugly face."

Naruto blushed as he stared at Sasuke, "Oh Sasuke..you do care." He smiled then jumped up on the table and crawled over to Sasuke and tongue kissed the hell outta him then crawled back over. Sakura came back over smiling, "Hai!" Naruto looked up at her, "Don't worry Sasuke I speak retard, Chan chan neko neko. Panty and Stockin. Haruhi Suzumiya. Yaoi." He said. Sakura stared at him then smiled, "One order of chicken fried chicken and chicken strips coming right up!" she said then skipped away.

"ah I knew you would be good at that somehow and its good to see that your not so useless outside the bedroom." Sasuke says while thinking ha this insane retard isn't that bad after all crazy but kinda fun like im hanging out with a drunk baby. "hey that bitch didn't get our fuckin drinks!"

"Its ok Sasuke. You can drink from my nipples!" Naruto said as he slowly and sensually stripped out of his promiscuous dress. He crawled on top of the table and spread his legs and got into a very sexy position, "Suck me beautiful."

"Naruto control yourself I know im sexy and what not but damn that stuff is for alley ways, clubs, parks, bedrooms and other place other then here im want to eat food right now not your baby cock." Sasuke checks out what Naruto has "huh I never saw the front side of you not bad."

Naruto blushed, "S-Sasuke! Don't look!" he squeeled like a little girl as he covered himself. He smacked Sasuke in the face, "You pervert!" he cried then sat down in the booth, "Sasuke…I have something to tell you…" he bit his lip and moaned, "I…have aids. OOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH! Supah special awesome plot twist!" he said grinning, "Now you have aids. Anyways our foods here!" he grinned happily as Sakura sat their food down.

"Naruto your are a crazy bitch but you fuck so good so I gotta deal with it, but my dear baby blues I have had aids way before you I mean I told you when we first met that I have had sex with a lot a people and I don't use condoms so yeah that my fuckin plot twist bitch. Sasuke says to Naruto "now lets dig into this fine lowclass food." Num num num num num.

"S-Sasuke…" Naruto's eyes watered, "I was just kidding…I didn't really have aids…" tears began to fall, "So does that mean I have aids too? I don't want baggage Sasuke!"

"num num num Oh my dear Naruto you already had baggage but idk you can check yourself we can get a aids test at the walmart cause that's how we do. So let us finish eating and then leave without paying or leaving a tip and I'll get you that test."

"Oh god Sasuke you're such a romatic!" Naruto said clasping his hands together with hearts in his eyes, "It just makes me want to screw you right here, right now. But first! WE dine! He screamed then slammed his face into the chicken fried chicken and started eating without using his fork and knife. He lifted his head with the white gravy all over his face, "Lets get out ofhere before Sakura comes back!"

"Um Naruto you got a little something on your face like all over your face." Sasuke hands Naruto a napkin "now come on lets leave this place and go to somewhere better…WalMart!." Sasuke grabs narutos hand and runs out of country cookin before anyone notices they are gone ~later that night that pink haired waitress got fired because of us but we didn't know and nor did we care~

Naruto and Sasuke went Walmart and played hide and seek for a while then left and went back to Naruto's box when Naruto gasped, "Oh noes Sasuke we forgot to get the aids test!" he started crying, "Wait I have one in my bathroom!" he exclaimed then ran into his bathroom and grabbed the pregnancy test I mean aids test and took it, revealing that he did have aids. He fell down to the floor and started crying, "Sasuke how could you!"

"I don't know Naruto your ass looked good enough to fuck without giving you aids but no worries aids isn't that bad I have had them for 39 years and I haven't even notice them except for the ezt breaks *beep beep* speakin of the little devil that would be my beeper."

Naruto smiled at Sasuke, "I didn't know you were 50. Emo's age really good." He looked down at his aids infested body, "Maybe I will be ok. Aids doenst sound that bad. As long as I have you with me Sasuke!"

"Naruto how did you know my age without me saying it but you are something special after all it has been a insane rollercoaster today but it has been fun in a way but I will stay the night with you but we have to save tonight cause I most likely sneak out in the morning but im sure we will be together again." Sasuke kisses Naruto.

Naruto looked down and frowned then smiled up at Sasuke, "Its ok Sasuke. Even if you leave me I implanted a tracking device in you so you're never going to leave me."

~~They died of aids.~~~

The end…?


	2. Chapter 2

Naruto awoke from his aids induced coma and looked down at Sasuke with love. "Sasuke! Sasuke wait the fuck up!" he screamed shaking Sasuke, "I'm pregnant!"

Sasuke looks at Naruto and keeps walking away "Naruto you're a boy you have a penis there is no way in hell your pregnant dumbass."

"SASUKE ELIZABETH UCHIHA!" Naruto yelled stomping his feet and ran after him, "I am fucking pregnant and you're the father. That aids test was actually a pregnancy test."

"That's not my middle name." Sasuke says while working out of the hospital "and once again we are two men you have no pussy between dem thunder thighs you have a penis even if you were pregnant which you're not where will it come out huh?"

Naruto bit his lips as tears started to fall, "S-Sasuke you think I'm fat?" he started crying. He ran up to Sasuke and tackled him to the ground, "Don't you walk away from me god damnit I might be pregger and you're treating me like shit!" he screamed, "Tomorows our 1 day anniversary. It was a few days ao that we first met and fell in love."

"not saying your fat just you can lose a few not get the fuck of me you cow." Sasuke says while pushing Naruto off of him "and there's no anniversary."

"Sasuke…do you not l-love me?" He gripped his shirt tightly and started crying, "I can't believe you're doing this to me…to us! You're walking out on your children!" he screamed, "And IM NOT FAT! "

"Naruto what the hey hey! There is no children there is no us and I'm not doing anything to you well not yet I might aswell spit the ass a few more time before I make like a tree and gtfo." Sasuke says while walking down the street.

Naruto pouted his full lips, "Sasuke you're stupid!" he yelled then skipped after Sasuke, "It's ok Sasuke I know you're just shy. I love you too." He stopped and put his hands on his stomach, "Sasuke I felt the baby kick!" he grabbed Sasuke's hand and put it to his stomach, "See I told you I was pregger!"

Sasuke looks at Naruto while feeling his tummy "dude you're just hungry there is no baybay kicking around in there plus it would be too soon for kicking trust me I use to be a doctor for two year but I quit because I had more important shit to do."

"Yeah and you kind of had aids which people frown upon. Oh and yeah you gave me your aids you fucking asshole!" Naruto crossed his arms then looked over and saw a man that looked exactly like Sasuke except paler, "Hey Sasuke do you have a twin?" Sai looked at Sasuke and smirked, "Hey Sasuke. Still have aids?"

Sasuke looks and sees Sai "like omg Sai! Well you know I still have aids if you do =) so hows it goin? Long time no fuck."

Sai smiled at Sasuke, "Uh yeah it has been a long time…" his beeper started beeping, "EZT break." He took some of his medicine then smiled, "So Sasuke who is this?" he looked at Naruto.

Sasuke looks at Naruto and then looks at Sai ~shit~ "…This is my Naruto and Naruto this is Sai, so this has been nice and awkward we really should do something sometime Sai."

Naruto pushed Sasuke out of the way, "Sasuke let me talk to Sai!" he smiled at Sai, "My name is Naruto I have no idea who Sasuke is and I am currently single so if you wanna hook up gimme a ring kay." Sai nodded, putting the information in his blackberry, "Naruto do you have aids?" Naruto shook his head, "Yeah I got it from Sasuke!" he smiled. Sai nodded then looked over to Sasuke, "Still giving everyone your aids?" he laughed.

Sasuke glares and Naruto and then looks at Sai " You know me the more that have aids the better I feel plus you can't quit fuckin haha."

Naruto stuck his tongue out at Sasuke, "Sasuke don't be jealous just because Im a hot piece of ass." He wrapped his arms around Sasuke, "Im sorry baby. I never meant to hurt you. You know I love you the most!" he smiled. Sai laughed at them, "So how long have you two been dating?" Naruto kissed Sasuke, "A few days! We're getting married and Im currently pregnant with his children! We're an aids family!"

Sasuke face turns red "Naruto honey the married thing is still a little too soon to talk about and there is a chance of you not being pregnant I mean you are a little boy a cute one at that haha." Sasuke thinks to himself what the fuck im a saying le siiiiiiiiigh.

"The fuck is wrong with you." Naruto asked Sasuke then looked at Sai, "Sasuke gets kind of stupid so you'll have to excuse him. Haha he even does this thing where he calls me crazy LOL." Sai stared at Sasuke and Naruto, "Sasuke you certainly found you a nice piece of ass. Care for a threesome?"

Sasuke looks at Naruto "you are crazy." And then looks at Sai "hellz yeah I would care for a threesome!."

"Sasuke he was talking to me!" Naruto said smacking Sasuke in the face, "And stop trying to fucking cheat on me! Goddamn shit!" he yelled. Sai arched an eyebrow, "And you are so not crazy." Naruto looked at Sai then smiled, "I know I fuckin aint so quit your god damn smiling you albino creampuff! "

Sasuke looks at Naruto "Naruto calm down babe and a 3 some takes 3 so he was talking to both of us haha no how about we go and have that 3some."

Naruto smacked Sasuke in the face again, "Sasuke god damnit stop it!" he ripped his shirt off and started touching himself, "Look at what you're missing! AH! OH!" he moaned. Sai looked at Naruto like he was retarded, "Uh yeah on that note I'm gonna go. Sasuke I'll see you later." He said then walked away

"k bye Sai." Sasuke watches Sai walk away til he couldn't see him anymore "sigh….Naruto wtf was that why did you keep fucking hitting me are you fuckin insane or something like really what is fucking wrong with you that makes you so fuckin needy and a damn attention hog! Sasuke yells at Naruto "you're lucky I don't beat the fuck out of you."

"S-Sasuke?" Naruto started to cry he then grinned seductively, "You sure did say fucking a lot so does that mean you're horny?" he asked licking his lips, "Let's fuck!" he ripped off his pants and grabbed Sasuke's dick, "You can pretend Im sai?"

"well sex is a good way to get out your anger so in that case okay." Sasuke says and then goes in and roughly kisses Naruto.

Naruto pushed Sasuke away, "Jesus Christ Sasuke we're in public! You're a bastard!" he smacked Sasuke hard on the cheek then grabbed his hand and smiled, "Let's go to my box!" he dragged Sasuke to his box and pushed him on the bed he then walked into his bathroom and pulled out some makeup and smeared it all over his face. It was a pale coverup so now he looked albino. He slipped on a blackwig then walked back out to Sasuke, "How do I look you fucking asshole."

Sasuke stares at Naruto wondering what the fuck is going on. "Naruto you don't need to pretend your Sai you just being willing is good enough for me."

"S-Sasuke…" Naruto started crying, "You're so good to me!" he wiped all the creamy white shit off his face and jerked the wig off his head, "Let's fuck!" he pounced on Sasuke, ripping his clothes off. He then lowered his ass onto Sasuke's dick, "Ah oh Sasuke! I love you so fucking much! Love me! Oh god love me! Don't you ever fucking leave me! I'm going to murder Sai and me and you will be together forever forever together!" he screamed while he fucked Sasuke.

Sasuke thrusting harder and harder in and out of Narutos willing ass "oh Naruto…please…shut the fuck up!."

Naruto gasped, "Sasuke! Why don't you like to hear me speak! Ohmigawd! Sasuke how could you hurt me like this!" he cried, "I thought we had an everlasting love! Don't stop believing!" he came onto Sasuke's chest and he felt Sasuke come inside him, "Oh Sasuke that was amazing…I love you so much.."

Sasuke lays back and gets comfy "nothing fucks better the a crazy bitch now Naruto I know you can't cook so you wanna get some damn food cause I need my after fuck snacks or else ima go to sleep."

"On the contrary Sasuke while I was in that aids induced coma I learned how to cook." He walked over to the kitchen and a few minutes later after he set the whole kitchen on fire he walked back into his bedroom with burns and cuts all over him, "Can you smell what the Naruto is cookin!" he screamed then threw the hot soup he just made all over Sasuke.

Sasuke gives Naruto a evil glare while feeling the burning of the soup all over his body "Naruto you better get the fuck out of my sight right now or else ima fucking murder you...you know what im fucking leavin but before I do." Sasuke walks up to Naruto puts his hand on narutos cheek then get close to Naruto like he is about to kiss him nope throws Naruto into the fuckin wall then walks away and leaves.

Naruto cried out in pain, "Owie….he went all Durarara on my ass…" he held his bleeding head and shakily stood, stumbling after Sasuke, "Sasuke…please! Please don't leave me! You gave me aids! You cant fuckin leave me!" he screamed after Sasuke. Sai appeared out of no where and looked down at Naruto, "Eh what's up doc?" he asked. Naruto started crying, "Get out of here! Cant you see no one wants you here!" Sai walked away. "Sasuke! Baby please come home!"

Sasuke walking down the streets he stops and hears the cries of Naruto "just keep on going Sasuke ignore that fuckin retard." Sasuke says to himself he keeps walking with his hands in his pockets lookin at the sky then looks at the store across the street "I should really get some burn cream from where that bitch threw that soup on me." So he walks into the store to buy some burn cream.

Naruto walked into the store right after Sasuke and walked right up to Sasuke and slammed him against the aisle, "Listen you fucking asshole prick no one and I mean NO One fucking leaves me! The last guy who tried to leave me I fucking murdered although I cant fucking figure out why he wanted to leave me in the god damn first place. I am not fucking crazy like everyone keeps telling me! Sasuke please stay you're the first person I ever fell in love with! I'll try to change and if you cant accept me I'll kill that fucking bastard Sai datte fuckin bayo bitch!"

Sasuke gets up and looks at Naruto then punches him in the dick "Now you listen to me you insane 2cent gutter whore! You leave Sai out of whatever this is that we got going on he has nothing to do with this so you have no reason what so ever to bring him into this! Now I don't know whats wrong with you but I could tell when I first met you that you need so fuckin help I don't know what happened to you to make you this way or if you were just born fuckin insane and that killing you ex because he left you that does make you insane cause no one does that now ima get my burn cream, my coke, and my uzt bbq chip and ima go."

"Fuck you Sasuke! Fuck you and your damn urzt chips! " he cried, "I'm going to go kill Sai now kay thanx bai!" he waved happily then skipped away.

"Son of a whore! You leave Sai alone!" Sasuke cases after Naruto and tackles him to the ground.

Naruto gasped and wrapped his arms around Sasuke, hugging him tightly, "Oh Sasuke I knew you loved me! Welcome back!" he smiled blushing like a virgin even though he wasn't teehee. Don't tell anyone.

"Naruto you are insane I'm not back I just stop you from oh whatever what's the point anymore trying to talk to you." Sasuke says while getting up off of Naruto.

"Sasuke…" Naruto whispered, keeping his head down, "I really do love you." He pulled out a gun from his pocket and held it to his head, "Please forgive me…" he started crying.

"Oh Naruto don't do that for me." Sasuke says while tackling Naruto again and takes the gun away from him "There's no need to kill that sexy bod of yours." Sasuke looks at the gun and opens the chambers "um Naruto there are no bullets in this here gun."

Naruto looked at the gun then giggled, "Woopsie…I knew I forgot something…" he sighed then looked up at Sasuke and smiled, "Thank you Sasuke…really thank you…for being a fucking asshole! If you love me stay with me. Please I beg you!" he cried.

"Naruto you insane fool I'm not saying I love you but you're welcome I know I am a pretty great guy and all but we need to take the emotion part of whatever this is slow and take the sexual part as far as we can this is no love story damn it." Sasuke says while lookin deep into Narutos eyes then gets up "well come on then."

"Ok Sasuke…I'll follow you wherever you go." He smiled then stood and followed after Sasuke. He reached out and took Sasuke's hand, "I'm sorry Sasuke…for everything." Sai walked in front of them and smiled, his greasy hair shining, "Hi you two. I'm glad you two are together again because Naruto was starting to freak me out."

Sasuke looks at Sai " Hey yeah Naruto can get a little insane here and there believe it or not but things seem to be fine right now."

"That is just crazay talk Sasuke." Naruto said laughing, "That is so fucking insane you shouldn't talk like that ever again…or I'll kill you all…I mean it." Naruto said looking at Sai and Sasuke. Sai looked at Naruto like he was crazy then turned to Sasuke, "So anyway Sasuke…" Sai's beeper goes off, "Oh forgive me…EZT break. Le sigh." Sai took his medication then turned to Sasuke, "Anyway Sasuke I came to tell you I proposed to Topaz. We're getting married!"

Sasuke stares a Sai and smiles even tho the pain in his heart hurts greatly "…That's great Sai I'm so happy for you so happy so very happy I wish the best between you two Topaz is very lucky."

"Hey Sasuke are you happy?" Naruto laughed, "Hahahaha this is so funny! Sasuke you look more sad than happy! Ironic don't you think that Sai is leaving you while you're trying to leave me." Sai looked at Naruto then to Sasuke, "Sasuke are you ok?" Naruto laughed even more, "Oh Sasuke's just being a little bitch. He's just mad that you're getting married. He'll get over it!"

Sasuke turns to Naruto and bitch slaps him to the ground, then looks over at Sai "Don't listen to him Sai he is a little insane after all but yeah I'm okay and truly happy for you and wish only the best between you and Topaz."

"No he doesn't Sai!" Naruto said rubbing his cheek, "He is fucking in love with you and hasn't gotten over you. You were just smart enough to leave his aids ridden ass." He stood and crossed his arms, "But Sasuke doesn't need you he has me!" Sai looked at Sasuke, "Sasuke…I'm sorry. Ever since you gave me aids…I…just cant be with you like that. I'm…a top." Naruto blinked then started laughing, "Hahahahahahah! This just keeps getting better and better."

Sasuke punches Naruto in the face. "Really Sai I'm fine I'm over it and happy for you don't listen to him he is truly insane after all now its time for me to go since I left my meds at home and Sai I'm both but its cool have a good life I wish you the best so goodbye." Sasuke says then walks a way.

Naruto smiled at Sai then chased after Sasuke, "Sasuke is it true? So…can I top you?" he asked eagerly. Sai stared after Naruto and Sasuke then rolled his eyes, "Le sigh. That was a trainwreck. Glad that's over with. Those two are both crazy."

"No Naruto you will never top me now I gotta go and be alone and get deep for awhile kk." Sasuke says while walking away from Naruto .

Naruto stared after Sasuke then rolled his eyes, "Fuckin emo's…" he laughed again at the thought of Sasuke being heartbroken then skipped down the sidewalk, "Lalalalala Sasuke and me are going to be together forever!" he turned the corner and bumped into…Itachi! DUN DUN DUN.

Sasuke keeps walking until he came to a lake and took a seat and looked out into the lake "mmm should I cut myself now or keep thinking and do it later."

"Cut now little brother…and cut deep." Itachi said as he sat down beside Sasuke. "I have a little surprise for you. I made over your crazy boyfriend. Naruto come out!" he demanded. Naruto came walking up, his blonde hair now black. He had dark eyeliner under his eyes and wore black clothes with a lip ring. He looked down at Sasuke, "What's up…" he said in an emo way.

"Itachi how many people do you have to make emo before you're done? And for the record he isn't my boyfriend and I've decided to cut later since you are here now so other then making people emo how you been?" Sasuke says lookin up at Itachi .

Lil bro I just made him better. I shall call him…mini me!" he laughed then ruffled Sasuke's hair, "You're hair looks like a ducks butt." Naruto sighed to himself then grabbed a razor blade and started cutting Sasuke's name all over his arm, "No one will ever understand my pain…the pain that comes from being immensely gorgeous…"

"Itachi I hope you don't bust a hip while your messing with my hair I mean aren't you a little to old to be making over little boys and such I mean you did do a good job with Naruto he does look hot that way and he seems less insane but there was nothing wrong with him before well except for he insanity and making a fool outta me in front of people but other then that he was fine." Sasuke says to Itachi

Itachi sat down in his old people scooter and started driving around Sasuke, "Look Sasuke it can move in so many directions!" he said laughing. Naruto aka mini me was just staring at Sasuke then sat down beside him, "Sasuke…Sasuke's brother is freaking me ."

"damn bro that scooter is just the shit i it can't wait til I'm old enough to get one." Sasuke says to his brother then looks at Naruto "don't worry Naruto his mind is slipping away because he is old as dirt."

"Weee Sasuke! Weeeeeeeeeeee!" Itachi said driving his scooter up to a small hill and driving over it, "That is such an adrenaline rush…" Naruto looked over to Itachi, "Sasuke's brother…stop it before you get hurt…" Naruto then turned back to Sasuke, "Sasuke…do you love me?"

Sasuke watches Itachi having fun on that scooter he so wants one now then he looks at Naruto "Naruto somewhere deep down inside I do the only thing I know for sure right now is that I want a scooter and that whatever we have how ever how crazy it may seem its kinda wonderful in its own way."

"Well Sasuke…I have a present for you." Naruto aka Mini me stood and pulled a blankey off of a giant lump revealing a scooter with a little seat attached to the side of it, "We can ride together Sasuke. Sasuke's brother told me to give this to you." He took out a razor blade and started cutting himself again. "Weeeeeee" Itachi came driving up, "I am havin so much fun right now!"

Sasuke hugs and kisses Naruto "Lets Riiiiiiide!" Sasuke sit on his scooter and Naruto aka mini me get into the side car and we ride into the sunset with Itachi "wwweeeeeeee Naruto isn't this so much fun? Weeeeeeeeeee Itachi this is awesome weeeeeeeee."

Itachi's scooter swerved off the road, crashing into a rock, catching on fire and dying. "Oh noooo Sasuke's brother is dead oh noooooooooooooooooo!" Naruto cried while cutting his wrist.

"oh noooo I was suppost to kill you not that scooter well atleast he died doing what he loved scooting." Sasuke says while looking at the burned remains of his brother "oh well lets keep riding in memory of Sasuke brother aka my brother."

"Oh Sasuke…I love thee so." Naruto said as he mourned the loss of Sasuke's brother. They rode off into the sunset on their scooter driving about the speed of a snail.


End file.
